To: Jumpy
by ikebukurolove
Summary: Akane writes a letter addressed to Junpei. In it, she entails the feelings she never got to tell him. However, she has no intention of sending it. It is for the sole purpose of drawing closure for herself. Warning: Heavy spoilers, best read when you've seen the true end.


**To: Jumpy**

**Rated T:** Just because it's 999.

**Warning:** Umm...loads of spoilers? So don't read this unless you've finished the game or want to be spoiled. But if it's the latter, you wouldn't really know what's going on anyway. Oh yeah it's Junpei x June by the way so JunpeixClover pplz, I'm sorraye. Or better: JunpeixSanta lol.

**Disclaimer:** If I was brilliant enough for me to be the author of this damn game, then I wouldn't need to stick around and write fanfics anymore. Just for those who can't read between the lines—I do not own 999. This is just a lowly fanfic borne of my afterthoughts from the moment I finished the game.

**Note:** Might have some discrepancies because well the game is so open to interpretation, and I may or may not have interpreted stuff wrongly or too freely so do point them out to me.

Lastly—this is dedicated to Waii-Kitsune as a memento for our reunion after two long years because of the hustle and bustle of well, school. Miss you man.

* * *

"Hey Akane, what're you doing? We have to get going soon."

"Eh...hold on for a bit. I...want to finish this letter first."

"Letter? You do know you're in a position where you can't exactly send letters right?"

"I...know," she smiled gently, "but I'm not going to send it."

"That's pretty pointless. But whatever, just hurry up or something."

"Thank you Aoi."

* * *

Dear Jumpy—

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm really, really sorry.

I can't say anything but sorry.

Sorry for dragging you into this mess.

Sorry for just leaving you behind.

Sorry for every, every single thing.

I can't...apologize enough to you.

And...

Thank you, thank you for saving me.

When I was all alone...and even though you knew what kind of person I was.

Jumpy...you still saved me.

When I was crying, and there was no one there, just me, the incinerator walls and that puzzle—

I was...so scared. I could see myself in the screen, nothing but tears on my face. Those cold, black numbers blinking back at me, and the mounting heat around me...

My mind...was blank.

The rules were meaningless to me. I was going to die. I knew it—

But then I heard you. I heard you Jumpy! I heard you from nine years in the future.

You were calling my name.

"Akane! Akane! Can you hear me?"

I...was so happy.

When I first heard your voice, I thought something along the lines of "Jumpy's voice is so deep now..."

And then holding that doll you gave me, I wished so hard.

"I want to see Jumpy again."

And you were right there with me.

As if I could just reach out—

If only I could transcend nine years to be by your side.

Then, as if you were right there holding my hand, I solved the puzzle.

When I see through your eyes...Jumpy, it's always so warm.

I don't want to leave.

I don't want to go back.

I'm safe with you.

And then...

I finally saw you.

I saw you nine years into the future.

"Jumpy...is so handsome."

It took everything I had to stop me from hugging you tightly.

Hearing your voice, feeling your breath on my neck, feeling your hand on mine...

Feeling all that again.

Jumpy...

I am different from the Akane Kurashiki you met as a child. Completely different. From a girl who loved life so dearly, even treasuring the lives of small animals so dearly—

To someone who can simply take human lives without batting an eyelid...

And even though my feelings for you have never changed one bit...

I'm sorry Jumpy.

I can't let you see the person I've become now that you know.

Even if you ask me why I turned out like this.

Even if you ask me why I didn't just forget about everything and carry on with my life...

I...can't.

I just can't. It's not that easy.

The moment before I died I thought:

"I'll never see Jumpy and Aoi again."

Feeling my tears evaporating, taking my skin with it...I was slowly fading away.

The fear and loneliness hurt even more than the pain of being burnt alive. Flames licking the ceiling—everything was bright orange...

Like that sunset we saw together.

Remember Jumpy?

It was a really happy memory for me.

But...I'm a broken girl now.

That's why I can't forgive the people who made me this way. No way in hell will I ever let them off. And not just me...my brother, and those other children...

But it's still just excuse no matter how you look at it, right Jumpy? In the end, I'm just an unbelievably selfish person.

I just wanted them to feel how I felt.

Someone like me who never had much in life, just my brother and you...they were just making me disappear as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Seeing me as nothing more as a worthless piece of rock to kick around and then abandon when they had their fun...

Hey, Jumpy, I'm more than that right?

I'm definitely more than that...right?

Jumpy...

Thank you so much for saving me.

If I could choose, I would have wanted to have a normal life with my brother. I wanted to grow up and get married and have children.

And of course, the person I want to be waiting for me at the altar would have to be...Jumpy.

"Jumpy, I want to see you again."

I've thought that countless times already, since we last parted.

Even though I used you and did so many bad things to you...Jumpy still saved me without hesitation.

Jumpy...you're really too kind for your own good.

All the times you stood up for me, telling me we'd meet again—

I was crying.

I was crying because I knew this would be the last time we would see each other forever.

Now that I think of it...it would be the same if I just died right?

We wouldn't be able to see each other either way.

But...at least right now, I got to see you one last time.

Every time I had a fit, or a fever, you were always right there.

"June, June are you OK?"

That kind of thing.

I...sometimes just wanted to stay June forever. I didn't want to be Akane Kurashiki any more. As June, I'd always have Junpei beside me. Always smiling kindly, completely oblivious to my feelings. For a while, I really wished that we were in a reality where the both of us were truly searching for a way out together.

Then we'd walk out, hand in hand and spend the rest of our lives together.

But I have to think of my brother, my past and those bastards that were never punished for what they did.

I have to give up something, don't I Jumpy?

There's just no other way.

So I decided to give up my happiness for revenge.

I will save myself over and over again so that I can punish them for the rest of eternity.

But I still gave into my selfishness didn't I?

I planted myself beside you.

I still stayed close to your side and acted like the Kanny you knew, like an A-list actress. It was like seeing things out of a picture frame. I didn't really care about anything anymore. Watching, unconcerned from outside of that frame—that was how I'd felt. The only thing I was sure about, was that I the person I loved was right before me. I...honestly didn't know what I was doing when I interacted with the others.

Just one more time...I wanted to hear your voice call me "Kanny."

Your deep, grown-up voice.

I wanted to see your light brown eyes regard me with kindness.

I wanted to hold you tightly...tightly...

Jumpy.

I'm happy to see that at least...you still have some semblance of feelings for me.

Whether you're chasing me down to make me cough up answers, or if you really just want to search me out so that we can be together—

I'm sorry Jumpy, but that won't be possible.

We're kindred spirits, but it doesn't mean our paths are fated to cross again.

In fact, I can safely tell you that our paths will diverge in completely opposite directions from now on.

But at least...I will always be able to see you, again and again.

Nine years in the future when you save the little, crying girl from certain death in the incinerator.

I will be able to hear your voice.

"Akane! Akane! Can you hear me?"

And then nine years later again, I will fall onto you from the stairs and see your grown-up face up close. Your big brown eyes, and then your unconditionally happy smile as you call me:

"Kanny!"

And then I will feel your embrace when I stumble from seeing the corpse in the shower—

You've already made me unbelievably happy in those short moments, Jumpy.

Even if they are repeated for all of eternity, I will never get tired of them.

Because it's you Jumpy.

Because all of them are my memories of you. Precious memories that will never ever fade from me, even when I die.

Even when I close my eyes—even in the reality where I die in that incinerator...

I will always see your face—

And even though I wish I could be by your side right now—

I'm already happy.

So.

Thank you Jumpy.

Thank you so much Jumpy.

Thank you for being the person this letter is addressed to.

Thank you for allowing me to ramble on in such sappy language at your expense. It's not like you'll ever read it, so it's OK if I get a little too sentimental and repetitive right?

Thank you for being Jumpy.

Thank you for every single thing.

That's why...

Please forget about all this. You've done enough. You don't need to search for me anymore.

You've already done your part and created a reality where you've saved me, without a doubt. And I will just need to relive that reality over and over again if I ever want to see you.

Jumpy, you're different from me. You don't need to be entrapped within the tendrils of revenge and paradox. You don't need to hate anyone.

Find a reality where—

But you don't need to right? You're Jumpy, right here and now.

No matter what.

Just be happy. Just be happy wherever you are.

I guess, this is goodbye then. Right, Jumpy? Then I'll definitely miss you.

And one more thing...

I know this will sound selfish, but—

Don't forget about me...alright?

—June

* * *

**A/N: Ahhh it's been a long time since I've posted a fic because school was really whacking the stuff outta me, and it definitely feels good to be able to write again. I just hope I didn't lose my touch, cos I think I wrote this a little too sappy for my liking. Also it's a one-shot, but I might consider writing a _To: Kanny_ if there's enough demand. Finally, if you're reading this, a big thank you for bearing with me and reading to the end. Now all you need to do is give me a review...or else. Oh wait, is review-whoring still an accepted practice in today's ? I have been away for way too long man...**


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